In this new session I managed to narrate my start to
my friend. I always call this start the Central Period. I said, "The
actions in this Central Period, you as a Muslim can't feel it, because the
story told by Quran about Jesus is different and lacks the details."
"Please leave the estimation to me," he
said.
"I was in difficult mood after my mind settled
on that life goes on without purpose or meaning. There is no afterlife or end
judgment. As I had a theory about the wish and will I planted the wish of death
in my mind believing it would come in the due time. But I thought it would be
better to write my mind to leave it to my children. Soon I got papers and under
the title Survival Call I started to write. I was in a hurry lest the death I
wished of should come before finishing my task. My writing was full of words
against God denying his existence. I urged people to stop calling God and to
focus on believing on sciences and the rational thinking. This effort took
about a year of writing every day.
"One night I finished a manuscript of more than
600 pages. I was very happy of it and lost my wish of death. I changed my mind
about my wish of death. On the contrary I wished to live long to see my society
able to publish it and read it to advance with my new ideas. I put it on my
desk and went to sleep hoping of fulfilling my new wish.
"At dawn I awoke feeling I was stabbed strongly
with a sword in my heart. I felt great pain and my mind was in bewilderment of
the source of it. The pain increased and became unbearable. I tried to change
my position on my bed but the increase of pain prevented me from it. I kept
lying on my back. I lost my breath and I was suffering the real death.
Something inside urged me to call the Lord God. But what I wrote in my book
prevented me from it thinking that it was nonsense to call the illusion.
"After a while it seemed that I fainted and I
came out of it knowing that I had just cried loudly for the Lord God. I
restored my lost breath and became able to move freely. I sat on my bed and turned
on the light. The pain became bearable. My wife who was sleeping in the far
room awoke and came to me. She heard my loud cry to the Lord God. I told her
what happened and asked her to call my neighbor Mr. Successor to carry me with
his car to Jonah Hospital of the Navy.
At the Jonah hospital the doctor put me in the
intensive care room, and ordered me to put the mask of Oxygen. Soon the pain
increased and the doctor wondered. So he
ordered me to be kept in the hospital to be seen by the chief of the department
of the heart. From the first day I was to take some kind of bills. When the
chief doctor saw me he gave orders to the assistant nurse to get the chart of
my heart and other analysis.
I slept early in the night but I awoke at dawn with
slight pain in the heart like before. After it vanished I returned to sleep
again. This slight pain kept going on in the following two dawns. In the third morning I got up on a noise in
the department and I knew that two patients from the Navy were put in the next
room. After an hour or more I got out of my room to visit them. They welcomed
me to sit with them and I introduced myself to them. The first in introducing
himself said,
"I am Rising in Peace. I made hard effort in the
funeral of my father and got painful heart attack."
"Sorry!" I said and I looked at the other
patient, "What is his situation?"
"He suffers disorder in his Twelfth (Part of the
intestine)," he answered.
At this moment I distracted and my mind told me, I am
the Messiah (Christ). I wondered and
returned back to my fellows. We continue the chat about the publishing and
other things and then I left. At my room I thought again of that wondrous
notion but I couldn't know its source. The matter seemed as if we were words in
one phrase; Rising in Peace, Twelve disciples and Christ.
On the morning of Thursday the nurse said, "Your
heart was found good and the doctor directs you to go to the department of
Neurology in the Fig
Hospital of the Navy.
Your file will be transferred to it."
I understood that my case was difficult and I got
down stairs to discuss it with my doctor. Alas the chief was not in his office
and I met a newly graduated doctor there. I discussed with him openly but a
soldier on hearing part of my sayings was incited and lost his polite and
started to throw accusation of atheism toward me in going and returning. He
repeated saying, the atheist will be thrown in the fire of hell.
I asked the doctor to stop the soldier but he didn't
obey the doctor. I lost my control and hit him with a strong blow. The soldier
fell down fainted; people crowded around us. Some were around the soldier and
others were around me, "Come down! Come down!" and brought me a glass
of water to drink. I was repeating the words, "He is ignorant and he is
against the progress of our nation!"
I was led to the general of the hospital who blamed
me and asked the colonel to see my file. The general said, "Deliver your self
to the department of Neurology in the Fig Hospital ."
I was happy it passed and left the
hospital after greeting my fellows with peace. I took a taxi to my home to
reach quickly. This is the start which seemed like the terminal of long thread.
"But all this doesn't help me to believe you are
Christ," Muslim Imam said. "Please show me what you saw in these
events."
"Okay, let's continue tomorrow," I said.
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