I was in great tension those days considering myself a social reformer. I thought I was to teach my society the rational thinking. The other fellow had disorder in the so called in Arabic ( the twelve) in the abdomen. When my mind distracted in (I am Christ), I thought of publishing and asked my fellows " Do you know any publisher?" The Raised in Peace said,"My uncle is a journalist. Why do you ask?" I said,"I authorized a book and I need to publish it" He asked,"Is it political?" I replied,"You can consider it so. It is about the reform of the Arabic nation by the fundamentals of Survival. Of course I escaped from clear answers because I knew it was not suitable for patients. He said,"When I come out I will introduce you to my uncle. Ask God to heal me." I said following the customs,"May God heal you! and you do with the meaning of your name." At that time I took the meaning of Raised as a progress in life, not as known in the gospel. We exchanged our addresses and I rose to my feet and said, bye, and went to my room.
Later after about a month I visited this friend home. I saw him still lying in bed and some visitors were with him. He welcomed me and I offered him encouraging words. It was unsuitable to speak of anything else. The visitors spoke about a blessed Muslim Sheikh they had known, that when he read the Quran he flied toward the ceiling of his room. And he found money under his pillow every morning. I didn't take part in their talk that I was still focusing on the scientific facts.
On the last day of the week the nurse informed me that my heart was found good and the doctor signed my papers to transfer me to the Fig Hospital to be seen in the department of Nerves. I wondered of that and my tension increased. I went down stairs to meet the doctor. The doctor under practice received me and I sat with him in the room. I asked about my case and he repeated what I had heard from the nurse before. As a godless man I discussed the matter of healing. It seemed that a Muslim soldier heard me. He started to direct mocking words toward us,"The people who deny God should be thrown in fire. I asked the doctor to order him to shut up and said,"Even when I am in the civil clothes I am still a major and this is impolite of him" The doctor ordered,"Shut up Mohammed" But he didn't obey and kept mocking in going and returning. I lost the control and rose to my feet. I beat him and he fell down fainted.
It seemed I was out of mind repeating the word ignorant. The people crowded around us. They tried to make him recover; and tried to make me come down and they gave me a glass of water to drink. Now I was facing the stars and I saw a previous leader with the name(Two Lords) which is given to the one who leads a ship. The wondering of his name came to my mind. He passed to his affairs as soon as he got down stairs. I saw two doctors standing afar speaking together. I heard them clearly. One said, he should not have beaten the soldier. The other said, the soldier could have been died.
A colonel came through the crowd and said,"The general wants you." I followed him to the office of the general. He received me frowning,"Don't you know that beating of soldiers is forbidden?" I replied," I didn't feel myself except after beating him. I lost the control for he was impolite." The general looked at the colonel,"What is his case?" The colonel handed him a file. The general raised his face toward me,"Deliver your self to the Fig Hospital on Saturday!" "Yes sir!" " Dismiss" I got out of his office happy that it passed without punishment. I went upstairs and took my bag; said fair well to my fellows and left. I wanted to return quickly to my home. So I took a taxi which carried me to my home in 15 minutes.
I found myself alone in the flat. I entered the bathroom and took off my clothes. I noticed red spots on my skin. So I got out and went to get a smear made by doctor Lazar from the wardrobe. When I caught the smear the notion,"I am Christ" returned to my mind. I wondered of that and said to myself,"No; I have just beaten a soldier; Christ wouldn't do that. He was known by his great mercy. No I am not He." After finishing my bath I went to the kitchen to make tea. My mind distracted while watching the fire in what was happening to me those days. I took the tea and went to my room. When I saw my book on the desk I felt I became at home really. When I hold the book the notion of Christ came again. I felt as if something was telling me to make it in the name of Christ; it appeared as a good idea for publishing but I rejected it knowing for sure that my subject contradicted all religious subjects. To be continued.